Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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