I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize