So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
