Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
