her vagina looked like bernie madoff
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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