You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize