I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
