I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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