I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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