C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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