Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
