At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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