but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize