you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
