You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
