I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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