In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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