toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
