She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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