Whod you bang
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
