You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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