rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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