I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
