Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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