Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
