Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
