I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
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so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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