I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
