She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
