Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
