No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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