we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
