Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize