What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
