I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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