No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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