Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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