in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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