I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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