He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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