I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
