I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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