i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
