11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
