Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
