my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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