mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize