at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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