tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
