Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
