i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
