Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
