I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
