is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
