Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
