I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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