Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
