if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
a search helicopter?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
