You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
