just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
