It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
