Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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