Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup