I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.