wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This beer is not sobering me up at all
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??