i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
