i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize