idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
