Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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