so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
