I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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