Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
