Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
