did you get engaged???
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
