Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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