I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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