Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
