I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
