Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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