she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
